Do you sometimes feel that your head might burst to disperse thousands of words in the form of thoughts in the air around you? Do you come across this state when there is so much you want to write, so many things at once that you just don’t seem to be able to concentrate on other tasks at hand? Are there times when there is an eager urge to drop everything and set out to writing?
And when you finally manage to sit down with a pen and your notepad, you hardly get past a couple of lines Also, when you re-read the rough draft you realize that you not only did scrape something largely deviating from what you actually meant to write but you scripted a jumble of ideas which seems nothing but a sort of maze from the outside.
Well, I’m not certain about you but I’ve been doing this awful lot lately. I sit down with a pack of ideas to be constructed in a train of thought but I end up filling pages after pages with random thoughts pouring out my mind. Sometimes, I don’t even spare the margin areas. I keep frantically scribbling until I feel my head is light and empty to house new thoughts. And I get a feeling that even the rashly scribbled pages stare back at me as though trying to make sense of things I scribble.
Nowadays, I feel I do not anymore enthusiastically write the way I used to. I’ve noticed a change in the pattern I write. And it is this. I never cared much about what I am writing except that it should be grammatically correct with simple-to-understand content. Off-late, I am overly concerned about what my readers like to read or rather what my readers might like to read and that’s one of the major hurdles in my literary endeavors. Now you must be thinking why is that? It’s positively alright to be concerned about your reader’s likes and dislikes when you exact a work of literature. But I was never concerned about this side of writing earlier. I started writing because I liked to write not because I wanted what I wrote to be liked.
I shared the same with R. She said, “Maybe you are pushing yourself a lot more than necessary.”
Well, now, I am pondering over what she said.