la douleur exquise

And ever so slowly
I fell in love
with you
while watching you
lost in worlds
far away from me
with the way
you lose yourself in stories
drifting to unreal places
desiring fictional novices
when you scribble hurriedly
when you smile contently
with the way you keep secrets
buried in your heart
only your eyes bearing testimony

And ever so slowly
I fell in love
with the way your eyes twitch
when you’re dreaming asleep
the way you blink rapidly
when you are
embarrassed or nervous
when your eyes turn a shade of red
just before the tears show up
the way you rub your nose
to swallow back the lump

And ever so slowly
I fell in love
with the way
you pretend shy and
avoid my eyes
when your cheeks turn pink
as you enjoy teasing me

when you tuck your hairs
behind your ears
the way your fingers curl
when you’ve finally given up
with the way
your shoulders quiver
when you succumb to your fears

And ever so slowly
I fell in love
with you
the you you don’t know
Yes, I fell in love
uncontrollably
with your insecurities
with your fears and queers
not your skin
not the body
nor your curves
nor beauty

It wasn’t love at first
but it sure was my last
and even if
it took a lifetime
I would wait for you
with every breath and beat
because I’ll love you
even when you won’t love yourself
because I’ll love you
unconditionally

~~~~~

la douleur exquise is the #StoryofmyLife.
It is French and translates to
the exquisite pain of wanting someone that you know you can never have,
and knowing that you will still try to be with them.”
What did you think of the poetry?

~~~~~

Asha Seth