An Inchoate Flame

For the first time today, I smiled at you. Well, it was first time in the history of me that I smiled at a stranger. Now that is a revelation one seldom gets to learn of me so you should be happy. But wait, you don’t even have an inkling of what I am talking. I let it rest; no point haranguing my heart over something that trivial.

Coming back to ‘For the first time today, I smiled at you’, yes. I am not extroverted. But I ain’t introverted too. If there is a middle-ground between the two, you’ll find me searching a cube there. That makes me think – why isn’t there a term for people with both tendencies in equilibrium? Like when people ask me out for a drink, I can’t say I am introverted and hence I won’t. But I am not exactly extroverted too; if I get good vibes about a person I might as well take up on the offer. I find myself perennially in peril.

Zap me back to the topic, reader, you better do, for I love straying away at length. Talking of straying, until some days ago, I felt as if I was straying away from all the undue attention you would bestow upon my frame. I say my frame, because my character, you are yet to acquaint with. I am intrigued to know what about my petite frame has pleased your senses. For I have never once failed to feel your interested eyes thoroughly parade and scan my physical persona. Now are you interested in the way I think you are, or are you just, you know…?!

I feel, we may perhaps, only be glimpse-acquainted with one another, forever. I have seen how a tiny mischievous smile plays upon your lips when our eyes meet for a cursory moment, before you force them to depart from my curious gaze. I wish to know the meaning of that. I also wish that you let them force a smile from me. Maybe then, we could both be at a liberty of making a lovesick attempt. Well, not counting chickens here, but you know what I mean?

Is this going to go anywhere? Is it too soon to expect? Am I only day-dreaming, hoping to be the vestibule of your affections? Are we going to let this little adventure die at the hands of apathetic abandonment?

Asha Seth