Can you love someone if you don’t know them yet? Can you unlove someone after you get to know them? Is it possible to shed those feelings after people change? And once you’ve harbored a certain kind of affection for someone, how do you go on living like before, after learning that a meaningless affection is all it’ll ever be? Do you wait for times to change or strive to change yourself? And how far along are you able to succeed in changing yourself like nothing ever happened?
Is it easy to pretend that nothing matters?
More importantly however, can you ever go back to being who you used to be before fate decided to put them in your path? How do you stop wondering why did your paths cross? If there was a reason; as they say, what was it? If it was not grander than the most mediocre of adventures, why did it happen at all?
And if it was, then why is it that suffering is all you’re left with?
Why did the sun change its course for you alone? Why did the moon get so comforting to you alone? Why did the sunsets get restless with the zillion what ifs? Why is it that you’re the only one hankering? Why is it that your heart beats like a ticking bomb under the covers at night? If it was real, if it was divine, then why did it not rattle the bones inside the other, from all the distance, from all the absence?
Do they feel anything at all? If not, then why…?
Why are the most sacred of feelings rewarded so cruelly thus? Why is indifference the answer to every prayer you’ve chanted? How do some live for no attachments and some live off it? Why is love so unfair to some and generous to those who hardly care for it?
Just me and my thoughts between dusk and dawn…