Married at fourteen, Lakshmi was taught silence was her only armour. But when her husband’s choices threaten her children’s future, she must decide: endure quietly or rebel for their sake. From a Kerala village to Mumbai’s streets, The Lives She Carried is a moving story of resilience, love, and a mother’s quiet defiance.
1. Can you tell us a little bit about your book? Why did you choose this genre and what’s the story behind the title?
My book “The Lives She Carried” is inspired by the story of my grandmother, my Paati Lakshmi, who became a migrant in her own country in pre-independence India, after moving thousands of kilometres from her village to a large city where she had neither a support system nor familiarity with the language. But she was farsighted enough to realise even then that mere education wasn’t enough; financial independence was critical if her daughters were to tread a different path to hers. And in their success and brave choices, she was vindicated. Paati passed away before I reached my teens so my only memories of her were of a quiet woman in a jewel-toned Madisaar who had the kindest smile. It was only much later that I learnt her story, its impact on our family, my grandmother’s determination and decided to write a book on it.
But this book is more than just my ode to my Paati, it is also meant to honour all those unsung Lakshmis in different parts of India and elsewhere in the world who have struggled to carve out a better life for their children. They will never win a Param Vir Chakra for valour but that doesn’t make their bravery any less deserving.
As for the title – The Lives She Carried – beyond the obvious, it also refers to the sacrifice, the angst, the loss, the grief, the courage, the resilience…all the things that Paati had to carry deep inside her. Even her own children might not have been aware of all that she was going through. So I thought that it was perfect both literally and figuratively.
2. What inspired you to write this story? How did you find the resources and research material for your book?
I set out to write this book because I wanted to document Paati’s journey and the life-changing impact it had on my family’s trajectory; for the sake of my children. My cousins and I were aware of several parts of the story but I didn’t know whether it would survive another generation. So, I decided to weave it all together in a fictional narrative that draws heavily from real life.
My main sources of information were the older generation – Paati’s children, in other words, my mother Sudha and my Kamala Periamma (aunt). Without my mother’s patience on our never-ending phone calls and elephantine memory, I doubt that this book would have seen the light of day. She also read the final draft and helped to date and fact-check events. My uncle Mahadevan also contributed. The challenge was to weave their stories, their memories, their perspectives into one compelling tale that people would enjoy reading; while being authentic and straight-from-the-heart at the same time. I have also included stories and anecdotes from my father’s side of the family since, after all, this is a fictionalised narrative.
And the epilogue is drawn from my own life, but no spoilers!
3. What was the most challenging aspect of writing this book? How did you overcome it?
Obviously the big challenge was to be authentic without hurting anyone’s feelings. After all, the characters in the book are my family members! Getting the years and ages right was also not easy as Paati had so many children. But that wasn’t all.
I had to really make an effort to put myself into the shoes of my Paati, of my Periammas…to see them as women in their own right, as individuals. Not as my grandmother or as my aunts, which is how they related to me while I was growing up. To give an example, my Paati was married off at fourteen. Now you can say that this was the norm a century ago. But the true horror only hit me when I remembered that I have a daughter at home who will turn fourteen in less than six months’ time. So that’s what I mean when I say that I had to force myself to walk in their shoes for a mile….to try and comprehend what they must have thought and felt, whether or not they were able to express it.
4. Are there any particular authors or books that have influenced the book?
I have always been an avid reader. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t buried in a book. So I suppose that every single book that I have read over the years has helped me write this one and I can’t single out any specific book or author. I also think that it’s important to have your own style as an author, to be true to yourself.
5. What role did editing play in the writing process? How did you decide when the manuscript was ready for publication?
I was very lucky to have an excellent and patient editor Rali Chorbadzhiyska who went through multiple rounds with me. But I learnt a lot from the editing process. Writing and editing are very different skill-sets and it’s important to realise that you need that detached perspective and the ability to accept feedback. You have to be willing to slash portions that might have taken you weeks to write, or chapters that you thought were perfect. After all, that’s why you have the editor in the first place!
And my editor was very gentle yet persistent, making me feel like she had my back. Finally, after a summer of rewrites, Rali felt that I was ready to move on.
6. Do you have any upcoming projects or ideas for future books that you’d like to share with your readers?
My next book, which I’m co-authoring with a dear friend, is meant to be a funny, almost Wodehouse-ian take on life. Again, it draws on lots of funny anecdotes and characters that we both encountered over the years, and we hope that people will have as much fun reading it as we are having writing it!
7. In the age of digital publishing and social media, how do you engage with your readers and promote your work?
Writing the book was clearly the easy part, compared to pitching it to agents and publishers. And that now seems like a walk in the park compared to marketing since there is an ocean of content out there and everyone is trying to grab eyeballs. In the past, I have not been very active on social media and have a lot to learn. However, I’m delighted to say that my book has been a big hit with whoever has read it; including strangers who attended the launch at the British Library, London. I’ve been able to move people to tears (including those unrelated to me) and that’s the ultimate compliment a writer can hope for.
I have been posting about my book on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn, and have also appeared on a podcast “The Mohua Show” which aired on Spotify. My editors at Author in Me (AIM) Monica and Ekta have also been helping to promote my book on their social media. And I am immensely lucky to have a wonderful set of super-supportive friends who have done their best to help me spread the word.
And in the long run, I am confident that my book will find its readers and be loved by them.
8. How do you balance your writing career with other aspects of your life, like work and family?
I think that you make time for the things that are important to you. When I was working full-time, I balanced a big job, small kids, my home and made it all work. Now, after twenty-six years in the corporate world, I’ve quit my job to write. So I have more time on my hands now, which is great.
9. What’s the pen ultimate takeaway for readers reading your book?
I really hope that reading my book reminds readers about whoever it was that changed their family’s story. Usually I think that these untold, almost-forgotten stories of struggle and sacrifice tend to be about women, which are either forgotten or unheard of.
And I also hope it makes people focus on not just educating their girls, but also ensuring that they’re financial independent and empowered. These are two distinct things and I think we as Indians talk about female education a lot but we don’t talk nearly enough about the need for women to stand on their own feet. Education matters a LOT but what you do with it matters even more!
10. What’s the one advice you’d like to share with aspiring writers of the genre?
I don’t know that I am really qualified to offer advice. But I think every author, regardless of genre, should write with authenticity. Be honest with yourself and with your readers. When you do that, you will touch hearts.
Read the powerful and inspiring book ‘The Lives She Carried’ now.
