I beat the waves

push myself harder still

falling deeper

into black abyss

a gush of water enters

I can’t feel my lungs

purges every bit of air

until there’s nothing left

struggling to keep myself afloat

slowly, I lose control

wait, water’s supposed to save

but I’m drowning instead

my hands lash

my legs sink

soon I’ll be lost

under the caspian sea

I can feel my heart go cold

amidst all the rage to live

the water’s everywhere

asphyxiating unbearably

at last –

you reach for me

you cast a net

that floats toward me

but before I can reach it

I’m pulled away fiercely

down under in its womb

oh wait, but it’s a bed of weed

was it rescue?

was it seize?

Is this how I rest

or regret eternally?